i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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