i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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