I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
