Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
