I could have mohawked her pubes.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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