am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
