Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
