idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
