So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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