I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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