Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
