Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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