too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
