**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
