OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
