Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have demons in me.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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