GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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