apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
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