he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize