Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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