hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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