how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
