I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
