Swine flu. Run for my life!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's never too late to be topless.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
