sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
wow bdsm is so cute
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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