me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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