we have pet lesbian snakes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
