Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
