"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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