i would punch a child for taco bell
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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