...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
