you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
is that a dick in a sweater?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize