I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
