bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
