I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
