I'm really into asian looking animals
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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