i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
