i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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