she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
