Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
