I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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