You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
