Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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