I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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