The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
