You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
