If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize