So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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