dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
