His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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