I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I touched a dick in church today
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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