did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize