So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Someone shattered a urinal.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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