all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
