So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I touched a dick in church today
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize