Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Can I color on your dick again?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
