the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
