We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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