please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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