fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
