Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
