hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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