We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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