This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
