I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
