hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
