I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
