no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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