I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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