Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
