so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
