You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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