i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
