hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize