Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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