no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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