This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
